online: 28 june 2008 modified: 4,5 june 2008 4 june 2008 nework, day 2
mechanised charity
after that new beginning in day 1:
10:49 ...the sound of mail being pushed through my door... and for once i am ignoring it so as to continue writing...
...10:55 too many inherited thoughts (from notes of day 1) so i await whatever words arrive spontaneously in the next 20 minutes... which could be the thoughts of nature extended beyond the limits of science and materialism (if that is possible)... words that reflect the presence of every thought as well as mine...
...but today the words do not seem to flow, as water flows on earth in seas, rivers, clouds or rain... or in pipes or powered jets or any other form of engineering...
...for no theory that ignores nature or engineering can be complete, or of this time... nor can it ignore the law, or war, or money, or belief in heavenly god or earthly goddess... (etc)
10:34 that's more than 20 minutes and still the scale of this expands as if no edge exists...
...so now i go to see what business mail (or even personal letters!) came through the door to this public writing place (contrived to avoid such interruptions)...
...what arrived is from Oxfam... two separate appeals addressed to me by name... but both are impersonally designed, manufactured and delivered in the same way as is any piece of unsolicited junk mail... which tempts me to throw them unopened into the refuse bin... i subscribe regulary to Oxfam (and a few other charities) but increasingly i feel alienated by the mechanised appeals which such charities now use... they seem more like the outputs of the industrial hierarchies (that cause world poverty etc) than effective remedies...
...i opened the Oxfam mail and was shocked by a photograph of women working at conveyor belts sorting clothes and other gifts under the supervision of a smiling man... and by the persuasive and imprisoning tone of these texts and photographs (despite the apparent goodness of the messages)...
...to employ people on conveyor belts, and to organise them in a hierarchy, is to me as as wrong as is the poverty that Oxfam is trying to allievate...
...i'm aware that to reconcile industrialised charity with thoughts of ourselves being the remedy to all that... or being the eyes, ears, brains and hands of nature... may be to attempt the impossible - but that is what is needed... it's going to be a difficult ride but that is the direction... of these thoughts and explorations..
...and besides, it has to be a pleasure... if it isn't a joy to write and to read it won't be successful... and i'm sorry to say that this piece isn't... not yet!
next day:
by making many small changes i've perhaps made this clearer (or stodgier?) but i did not enjoy it as i enjoyed writing day 1... this mechanisation of ours deadens everything it touches... brrrrrr...
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