online: 23 july 2010
modified: 18, 19, 23 july 2010

18 july 2010 perceptions and realities


from vale of health to tumulus

...suffering slight migraine... a flickering of lower left field of vision, unchanging whichever eye is closed... (from which i conclude it's in the nervous system not the optical)...

...when i look up (having written that) the migraine has gone... (does it go when attending to central vision only?)...

...sitting by the pond beneath palest blue sky... and looking at two ellipses: the ripples surrounding a duck (that keeps duck-diving as we call it)... and the elliptical form of a large patch of water lillies... seen at an angle...

...three tiny clouds have appeared in the sky and i watch them to see if they grow... yes they do... then two men arrive with fishing rods and one says hello as if apologising for his presence in my field of vision... already one is casting a bait half way across the pond while the other is preparing his rod... they both look as if they know exactly how to cast a line a long distance and to accurately read the water surface...

...the light is already fading and i decide to continue walk towards the tumulus... it's nearly 9 pm...

...my chance-directed path takes me under the large tree where there are often climbers... two men sitting on the ground show me how they get started (with the help of an inclined log as the first foothold)... they say there are people in the tree this evening... but it is too thickly grown to see them...

...9.15... now at the tumulus, on the seat which i associate with the decade when i resigned from employment and began this half-hidden life led by chance and by intention... and with the wish to write fiction, of a kind...

...and today, after losing sight of these hopes, i'm revived by re-reading pages of the internet and everyone... such intentions as these require frequent and constant reminders.... and i remember how, after ceasing full-time employment, i easily drift into inaction...

....and now, here at this tumulus memory circle, i look up and see that the half moon is just above the trees... the sky seen from here is blue-grey and cloudlesss...


...getting dark now... i'm feeling happy to be approaching darkness and dream time... and perhaps at any moment to continue the fictions i keep attempting...


...and before leaving he looks around in the near darkness and sees that the moon is already half-hidden by foliage and the meadow looks ghostly and still...





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