online: 31 october 2006
modified: 30, 31 october 2006

30 october 2006 the whole of our existence


14:31 i'm sitting in the meadow near to Well Walk on a Monday afternoon... i blew a one-millimetre insect off my fist and swept another from my clothing... i'm looking round at this scene (the oak forest bordering the meadow, the still grey cloud layer, the occasional birds, a few people walking with dogs, the sounds of aeroplanes above cloud...) i'm looking at this as if it is the world, the whole of our existence... letting go of all else...

...and thinking thus i felt at peace...

...whereas on the way here by bus and train i was thinking of things more extensive and less physical: i was seeing each person as the summation of a whole life of experience...

...for instance the long-distance truck driver alone in his cab remembering i know not what immensity of journeys... or other parts of his reality... which i do not share and cannot imagine...

...or the man who was bumping his trolly-suitcase down the iron steps at the station apparently without any concept of how damaging this could be to the small rigid wheels and their tiny bearings... and how i have learnt to imagine so strongly the comfort or discomfort of physical objects (a skill useful in designing)...

...and that led me to think of the immense presences and absences in the thoughts and perceptions of each one of us... and of how the communication of, or ignorance of, these great differences between our thoughts... and the value of learning to perceive this: the extent and variety of knowledge, and awareness, and the degree to which some can infer its presence and some of us cannot... and how wrong, or how right, these inferences can be...

...and now, as i lie on the seat to relieve backache, i forget those abstract thoughts and see that the soft grey clouds are in fact moving quite quickly, from the north, and i watch yellow and brown leaves falling from the lime trees beside me in slight wind at ground level...

...and now i continue walking to the next randomly chosen point (Parliament Hill)... and then to another (the outdoor cafe where i ate a bowl of soup and a piece of bread while reading a newspaper)...





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