28 February 2002 how the mind works

15:54: Outdoor cafe - on the last day of winter. A few trees are beginning to turn green. Why do I write these notes so grammatically? No answer.

This afternoon I feel at ease, at last, having completed the collective cv, added to it an alphabetic list of the names mentioned, and even drafted daffodil 7 (so I can send it out tomorrow - St David's day and the first anniversary of daffodil). I've been awake and busy since six - where does the energy come from?

Most days I am tired after two hours or so at the keyboard but today I've been there for four or five! - I suppose it's because I've at last found a way to respond to this award (an honorary degree) without inner conflict - which has upset me since I was invited to accept it. That's how the mind works - it won't rest until conflicts are transcended, and if you wait and wait in unease, and keep trying, it may of a sudden find the way to make you happy!

I breathe in and look about at the trees and the darkening clouds and decide to move now before what looks like a rainstorm gets nearer. The sun shines in the west.

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© 2002 john chris jones

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