online: 15 june 2002

15 june 2002 growth and certainty

14:07 On a seat overlooking central London. Between fast-growing trees I can just see the fast-growing towers of the City, or business district, the towers of Centrepoint, the Post Office tower, and the nearer bulk of the Royal Free Hospital. And on the seat beside me is the first ladybird I've seen this summer.

Earlier I went to see if the three cygnets have survived and I find that they have. They are already twice their birth length so they must already be 2x2x2 = 8 times their birth weight. I see that they are now feeding themselves. Tomorrow the fishing season begins - I hope they escape entanglement in discarded or broken fishing lines.

Above and to my right a small kestrel (or some other kind of hawk) is hovering, perfectly still against the blue sky and small cumuli. The ladybird is now moving about like a lost robot... and now it is still again, unaware of this note through which its presence can soon be read about the world over. Now it is travelling up my sleeve - but I brush it off before it gets to a place where I might accidentally crush it. It's now back on the seat and is running about quickly. Where is it going, what is it doing, does it know where it is or what it is searching for? Do any of us know the answers to such questions?

Today I am pleased to have at last overcome whatever has been keeping me from sending one copy of my edition of three copies of after Giraldusto Llyfrgell Genedlaethol Cymru, the National Library of Wales. At last, 22 years after I followed the route of Giraldus Cambrensis' Journey through Walesin 1188, the book of the journey exists and is accessible to the world. So, in this respect, I doknow what I am doing, and why - but in other respects I may be as lost as the ladybird seems to be... or the builders or the destroyers of tower blocks... or the followers of Giraldus, or Giraldus himself? He sought all his life to be the Archbishop of St. David's, reporting directly to the Pope and independent of the English Church, but life did not allow him to do that.

On my way back I saw what I took to be the first daisies I've seen this summer, in a cluster of 14... and then I passed some people picnicing in the windiest spot they could have found, and close to the traffic. Not everyone shares my lifelong search for good conditions and bodily comfort.

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© 2002 john chris jones

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