online: 12 february 2004
modified: 12, 19 february 2004

1 february 2004 meditation in a public toilet

As I sit here looking at square floor tiles in apparent continuous grid formation, ideally spreading to infinity, but actually stopping at the wall, I think of the activities it suggests or supports: standing, sitting or walking indoors by those who come to excrete, and frequent cleaning by others... I look at this pattern and think of these activities, and then of all such generative patterns and substances, natural or artificial, and all of the activities of everyone, and [illegible word], throughout the universe as we call it, this limitless unknown, its apparent scale being so rapidly expanded, all these [two illegible words], comprise 'everything', the 'life' we inhabit share and are, yes this is life, all of it, and yes one day each of us has to leave, for nothingness or for existence beyond life as we ever knew it...

I've never thought of this as I do this morning... just looking and hearing and sniffing and touching and thinking of the whole of it, and what is it, and how, that we are, and come and go, and...

I won't go on for there's a madness in these thoughts, as well as sanity, by the standard of what's known, and done, and is well balanced.

For whose benefit? No benefits, dear John, you're here to exist for the sake of so doing, no less circular an argument will suffice. Yes this is it. And now I wipe my arse, flush the toilet, and go, away, return to 'life' as we call it, the polite part, bounded by walls.

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