online: 13 november 2004
modified: 13 november 2 december 2004

4 november 2004 whatever we think

15:22 Sitting by water beneath tall trees still retaining many leaves yet fallen leaves already cover the ground. Long leaves, pointed, with spiked edges. Seagulls and crows gather as two people feed them. A male deer in the enclosure grunts with deep wild snore-like sounds. Adults walk about obedient to small children's wishes. A white-haired woman pushes another white-haired woman in a wheelchair as 3 young cyclists surround them in passing. The seagulls rise as one and the trees maintain their life-long positions, waiting on events: the decay of their leaves, the retreat of sap, the coming of winter. I realise that we all await similar changes, the parameters and limits of earthly existence. But each phase is perfect in its form and in its happening whether we be happy, sad or indifferent at its occurrence. A huge tree (is it a chestnut?) growing close to others leans about 15 degrees from the vertical and shows no sign of falling. Its double trunk and branches look enormously strong - they are nearly twice as thick as the others... and all are formed of sunlight, water, soil...

Observing these things and writing about them has changed my mood - from dull inertia to attentive gladness. Constructed or not, in brain or outside it, the world is a marvel whatever we think.

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