online: 13 january 2005
modified: 13 january 2005

12 january 2005 life and death as related

11:47 ...waiting in the corridor of organised life watching the patients disappear into the rooms where they are being enabled to live longer or better by others who are paid life-giving money to enact this beneficial process...

...i wait until most of the patients are gone...

...and now it is my turn to disappear also... the operating theatre (totally insulated from life outside and from the rest of the hospital) i am treated very well and feel almost nothing but the pleasure of being skillfully attended to by a surgeon who has been caring for my misbehaving skin for more than 20 years ... and by a nurse who gives me her fingers to hold on to when it becomes painful

...back in the now-empty corridor there is no one to make the next appointment and i walk away to rejoin the illusion of life-without-death amidst the multifarious events of daily living...

15:35 ...i ate Welsh fish cakes in an English cafe and then walked round the heath... and i'm now on the panorama path looking across the city... it's windy even stormy all over Britain but here the air is still, there is pale blue sky above fast moving clouds white fluffy and grey... the city towers are lit by the setting sun and there are about 50 crows eating something in the grass before me...

...i feel like the repaired guardian of the millions at work inside these thousands of buildings while i am free to look over their heads to observe the sky to note what else i see and hear and think and to be alive to life and death and the connectedness of everything outwardly so peaceful yet so constant and so various even comic even tragic now and then and here and there...

...writing this and thinking more than i can write i realise it's time to rejoin city life or is it death within these many streets and in a room in one of these buildings where soon i will be making this writing accessible from other places on earth and beyond it and in the future...'s visitors to this website were from these places:

Germany Bremen (Bremen)

United Kingdom Upper Clapton (Redbridge)

United States Brooklyn (New York)

Ireland Dublin (Dublin)

Morocco Rabat (Rabat-Sale)

United Kingdom Edinburgh (Edinburgh, City of)

Netherlands Rotterdam (Zuid-Holland)

Venezuela Caracas (Distrito Federal)

Netherlands Amsterdam (Noord-Holland)

Germany Braunschweig (Niedersachsen)

United Kingdom Middlesbrough (Middlesbrough)

Netherlands Rotterdam (Zuid-Holland)

Russian Federation Moscow (Moscow City)

United Kingdom Slough (Slough)

United Kingdom Stevenage (Norfolk)

Belgium Bontestraat (Brabant)

United Kingdom London (Lambeth)

United Kingdom Shawford (Hampshire)

United Kingdom City Of London (Newham)

19 people - the average nowadays is about 9 per day.

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