20 December 2001 daily life

14:05: Outdoor cafe - it's still warm enough to sit outside - one day before the winter solstice - at least in this walled garden.

As I sit here contemplating misuses of ourselves and of technology - and as I remember occasions when some activity that felt right led me to see each person in the street as something wonderful - I wonder what it is that might connect those two very different experiences, or thoughts?

I realise that they are both parts of the ordinary and unnoticed experience of living day to day, the actual and unthought activity of being alive (as opposed to the states of after death or before birth) - and I'm thinking (as I write) that these words may be concealing more than they reveal...

A talkative crow who squawks continuously perches nearby. He or she or it turns to look at a robin. I see my breath condensing in the cold air and feel that this is a good moment. I sip my tea and find it's gone cold. A blue tit is eating butter out of a plastic container that it has carried to the bush where it is perched. A blackbird stands on the next table. My hands are getting cold and I decide to move. A robin hops beneath my foot to pick up a tiny piece of food. When it's gone I get up.

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